I come back into consciousness and find myself gyrating with someone in a night club. Most of my body has already gone numb and if the loss of memory was anything to go by, I had drunk too much. Or mixed my drinks too much. Right, beer followed by cider followed by whisky then back onto beer and… who knows what else. Too much of everything. We left the apartment as a group and then…
That must have been hours ago. I’ve got blips in my head – flashes of scenarios throughout the night. Pub. Walking. Club. Club. Club. Sit-down drinks in one of those alfresco bars. I remember talking really loudly, but could not recall what I said. I think I was trying to talk dirty. I think I embarrassed myself.
Speaking of embarrassing, I just recognised my gyrational partner. He’s a work colleague, and I don’t even like him. Sure, he’s not half-bad to look at but that’s the only positive thing I can say about him.
I find myself walking down an almost deserted street (and the term ‘walking’ is the kindest way to describe it). There. Outside a casino. Somehow I knew the rest of the party was in there. I don’t what had happened to my dance partner. Didn’t he get into a taxi? I think I saw that. Caught a lucky break there.
Bouncers won’t let me into the casino. Says I’m too drunk. Tells me to go home. Fine. I’ll try the back door then…
I wake up on the couch in my boss’s apartment, the Christmas party still going on around me. Everyone was here. How did they all know to come back? How did I get back?
Doesn’t matter. I can’t see a thing. Close my eyes. Wait, no. What time was it? Watch still attached to wrist. Plus. Will find other appendages in the morning. It’s after five… I think. Doesn’t matter – can’t catch a train like this.
Lucky to have made it back. Grateful to be safe on a comfortable couch. Why do I do these things? I don’t even like it. I don’t even like anybody here but when the boss hosts a party in the city and offers up free booze…
I lean over and throw up all over the glass coffee table. I expected the adrenaline to kick in so I could leg it but it didn’t happen. I just sank back down. Screw it all. I don’t even like this job. Can’t handle anything right now, I’ll deal with it in the morning.
Maybe it’s a good thing. If I’ve sabotaged the life I don’t like, then I don’t have a choice but to find something I do like, right?